Over the years, I have been wooed by the commercials. You know which ones I’m talking about. Those As Seen on TV products that they make look like the BEST things you have ever purchased in your life? I usually wait until these products are at CVS and then purchase them for around $9.99 each. I figure if they are big enough to go from TV to CVS, then for sure they must be good.
1. Smooth Away™
The commercial is right. It removes hair. At the rate of 5 hairs an hour. It comes with a large size pad (for legs and arms) and a smaller size pad (for facial and bikini areas). The instructions say to place the applicator to the skin and rub in a circular motion clockwise three times and then counterclockwise three times. Three times, my ass. Three times each way wasn’t doing it. I wore out one of the large pads on just one leg. And it wasn’t even smooth! My skin was exfoliated, but it certainly was not hair-free. Then, I broke out one of the small pads in hopes that it would redeem itself on my face. Again, no. If I were to rotate in a circular motion by my eyebrows, I’d smooth my eyebrows right off, or based on my legs, at least somewhat off. I then tried to use it on my upper lip, but my nose got in the way! I couldn’t use the correct circular motion and ended up with a stubbly, lopsided mustache.
2. Dryer Balls™
Harry and I saw these a few years ago and thought this would be great for our blankets at the laundromat. We were all excited to go to the laundromat to use them and wash our comforter. We throw the balls in and guess what happens? They MELT. The little nubs all got singed from the heat of the dryer and pieces melted on our comforter. We kept the balls in our junk drawer as proof of this happening for future house guests. I would think Dryer Balls would be more heat resistant considering they are DRYER balls, don’t you?
3. Mighty MendIt™
Who doesn’t love Billy Mays? The man could have sold sand in desert and people would line up, me included. The fact that he sold this makes the appeal even better. Plus, the thought of not having to sew another hem in my life? This intrigued me. I never bought, but my Mom did. I inherited it after she ruined a chaise lounge while trying to repair a rip in it. I decided to use it first to repair a hem on a pair of pants. The hem has remained in place but the goop that remains of the product on my pants has also. I give it an A for effort in material adhesive, but they could have made it dry clear. This also came with a bonus bottle of Mighty GemIt. I’m not one to bedazzle, but if I get into scrapbooking again, this will come in handy so I am holding on to it.
4. Strap-Perfect™
When I saw this commercial, I said, “I have to have this!”. It hides your bra straps AND gives you a little “boost”? What girl doesn’t want this PERFECT item? I waited for months until I finally saw it appear on the shelf at CVS. I was with my Mom when I bought it and she told me I was crazy. I said, “You’ll see…you’ll want to borrow them!”. Well, Mom got the last laugh. On the commercial, they show someone else putting it on the model. That’s because normal people’s arms do not flex that way. It is almost impossible to put it on. Granted, I may have a bit more chub than others, but still. They address this in the instructions, saying that is one of two ways you can use it. The other way, you put it on before pulling the bra straps up and then you have to fit your arms through these tiny little holes and try to pull the bra up over your boobs. It is a terrible experience. What’s even more terrible is seeing that the shirt you put on over it doesn’t even work with the bra and you went through all that for nothing. I have yet to have a top that works with this product. It also came with “invisible tape” that I have yet to try. I will let you know how that goes next time I have a wardrobe malfunction that needs attending to.
5. Pedi-Paws™
I had always seen this one and wished I had a pet to use it on. Well, then I got Gracie! This was one of my first purchases when she was s little 8 week old kitten. The instructions say to take it out and turn it on a few minutes a day to get your pet accustomed to it. I tried this and the first time, Gracie hissed at it. So I immediately put it away. Then the next day, she hissed and pounced on it. The the next she hissed and swatted at it. This went on for two weeks and then I decided to stop torturing the poor kitty and to just give it up.
To this day, As Seen On TV products still impress me, on TV that is. I saw “Bumpits” last week for $9.99 and had to stop myself from buying it. I don’t know if I’ll ever learn.
